Who I Am
I am a mixture of many ethnic backgrounds. The most dominant one is my Mexican background. It’s in every aspect of my life. It’s a part of who I am. Even though I’m Salvadorian and Costa Rican, my Mexican background is the one that’s closest to my heart. Growing up half Mexican posed many challenges for me all throughout middle school and staying connected to my roots.
The first thing people would point out was the lightness of my skin. I figured that most people thought that I was too light skinned to me Mexican. Then as I progressed into middle school, I began to realize that it was more than the color of my skin. I became more aware of who my friends were and how they were raised. Their perceptions of life made me look back on myself and how I was raised. Their first language was Spanish, I didn’t know a lick of Spanish besides Hola and Como estas. My first language was English. Then their commentary got to me, and they would say things like, “You should know how to speak Spanish” and “You should know how to cook”. Their words stung. Our worlds were clashing. I was always “white washed” and “stuck up” and my all-time favorite “Don’t you live in PV?” This all ties back to the lightness of my skin. People were always assuming because of the color of my skin. I would always tell myself, “I’m more than the color of my skin”. I’m Mexican and it’s a part of who I am.
One of the ways I was able to stay connected with my Mexican roots was Folkorico. It’s Mexican Dancing and I danced for seven years. I always loved being adorned in bright, lively colors that made me happy. The sway of my red skirt brought forth so much jovialness. When my “friends” constantly judged me for who I was, I always thought back on Folkorico because it made me feel deeply rooted within my Mexican culture. I held onto it when my friends would pester me about my looks, language, and family, but I fought back. I defended myself and there’s no need to justify why I’m Mexican. Yes, it caused many conflicts, but I was keeping steady with my values. I wasn’t able to conform to their idealistic views on being Mexican. It was through Folkorico, I was able to keep an anchor to all that I held dearest of my roots.
Staying deeply rooted with my culture is important to me because it’s a part of my identity. Without it, I’d be lost. In that particular age, I was able to grapple with the conflicts that made me grow. Now, I am awaken, but I’m still learning and I’m still growing.
